The Things We Say

The Things We Say

Mac at 18 just after he voted for the first time

“A year and a half ago, my son Griffin, upon turning eighteen, asked me one afternoon, ‘Dad, if you could go back in time and say one thing to your eighteen-year-old self, what would it be?’  Immediately, my mind began swimming with the possibilities:

‘Begin investing in an IRA as soon as you get your first job.’

‘Experiences are invariably more enduring and valuable than things.’

Don’t speed.  The scenery is worth slowing down to see.  Speeding worsens your blood pressure, and speeding tickets destroy your auto insurance premiums.’

All of these nuggets are helpful and borne of experience, but after some additional consideration, I realized the one thing I wish my more worldly self could tell my budding, brash, invincible, doe-eyed, thought-I-understood-everything, fragile-and-unknowingly-on-the-precipice, eighteen-year-old self. I would tell myself, ‘Barkley, the things we say we cannot unsay.’”—The Very Rev Barkley Thompson, “The Things We Say,” Sermon, February 16, 2020, Christ Church Cathedral, Houston, Texas.

Barkley, in particular, reminds us that our God of love challenges us to bless our family, friends, neighbors, and even our enemies. He reminds us of the harm we do with our voice, which is almost impossible to take back, especially when we use words that are not blessings but curses. Barkley reminds us that the key is indeed in our breath. When we are considering something that is not a blessing, he suggests we stop and breathe in, breathe in God’s love, and also exhale the love of God into the atmosphere. It may take some time before we no longer want to spread unkindness into the universe we are considering. Barkley reminds us that this is a spiritual practice, a breath prayer. Over time, we think and feel differently.

Each word of kindness is part of God’s creation of love, which we can exhale into our world. My experience is that stopping the curse is the most critical part. I must stop and change gears in my mind, heart, and spirit. It may take many breath prayers before I am getting close to breathing out the love of God. I will not change the situation or the person who is inducing my anger, but the breath prayer will change me. 

This year, all six of our grandchildren will be voting, including three for the first time. It is a milestone where I think about what I would like to tell them about what I wish I had done or not done. In the end, I finally realize I want to tell them simply how much they are loved.

Joanna.  Joannaseibert.com

Robert Johnson: Inner Work

Johnson: Inner Work

“All forms of interaction with the unconscious that nourished our ancestors—dream, vision, ritual, religious experience—are largely lost, dismissed by the modern mind as primitive or superstitious. In our hubris and faith in our unassailable reason, we cut ourselves off from our origins in the unconscious and from the deepest parts of ourselves.”—Robert Johnson in Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth (Harper & Row, 1989).

My spiritual director recently posted this quote on Facebook. It affirms an alternative path that many are rediscovering. Our book group reread the revised version of Joyce Rockwood Hudson’s Natural Spirituality. Recently, in a clergy group, we announced that we were studying Natural Spirituality. Two members who had recently finished seminary had no idea what we were talking about. They were even more in the dark when we mentioned dream work and were perhaps a little suspicious. However, older clergy in the group had been studying dreams for some time and affirmed the value of that study.

We have been involved in dream groups for over thirty years. Dreamwork is one of the many ways to discern what God calls us to do. My experience is that it is vital to participate in a group that studies its members’ dreams, both their own and each other’s. Unfortunately, most of us find it challenging to discern dreams on our own. 

There are many factors to consider. Dreams reveal what we don’t already know. Parts of ourselves may block new information.

Think of our experience in other discussion groups when novel ideas come up. At least one person invariably throws out an automatic “no” to an alternative way of doing things. “That is not how we have done it in the past.” It always takes time for the entire group to process the information and decide to go in a new direction.

Likewise, a dream group of friends, looking at a dream from outside our own ego, may gently guide us in a new direction that the automatic “no” part of us might have shut down. We look for these insights into our inner life until the light bulb turns on, both inside and outside us. I like Joyce Rockwood Hudson’s subtitle for her book, A Handbook for Jungian Inner Work in Spiritual Community.

Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Searching for God

Searching for God

one of my bookcases

“Are you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you the final sense of inner well-being you desire? Don’t you often hope: ‘May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country, or relationship fulfill my deepest desire’? But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment, you will keep running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied.”―Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.

From my medical career, I know where to find answers, having read extensively about diseases to solve the mysteries of what is going on with my patients. It is only natural that I carry that over into my spiritual life. I have filled bookshelves and bookshelves and bookshelves as I seek the truth of peace and connection to God. The answer seems right there on the next page. I go to the book’s last page; it must be hiding, for I cannot find it. So I eagerly purchase the author’s next book, again hoping to connect with the truth that seems so close. I will attend their next workshop or conference. I find another author there, and I repeat the same cycle. I attend day retreats, silent retreats, week-long gatherings, and pilgrimages, knowing that answers will be found in those places or at those times. 

Nouwen says, from his experience, that this compulsive journey only leads to spiritual exhaustion and, ultimately, spiritual death.

I return to my medical practice and remember that I often learned the answers from my patients when I listened to them. My patients and their medical findings, including where it hurt, how long they were in pain, and how it felt to touch. That is where answers come in the present moment.

In our spiritual life, C.S. Lewis tells us we meet God in the present moment. This means God’s presence in the present moment is not found in the busyness of seeking God in a new place or with a new mentor. The present moment is always right in front of us. It is in the air we breathe. It is with each person we meet in our daily routine. It is in the tree outside our window or in the birds that come to feed. God is present in all these other places and people right in front of us, wherever we are. We only have to stop our busyness long enough to say, “Hello, I love you, too, and thank you.” 

But we cannot hold onto the love and peace that living in the present brings. Instead, we must share this love with each breath, with each person, and with each part of nature we encounter. There, it multiplies and changes not only us but the world.

Joanna   https://www.joannaseibert.com/