“The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea.”—Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
It is still painful to think about and respond to events at our Capitol on Epiphany, January 6th, 2021. First, there was disbelief that it was happening in the country we love.
I go to the safest place in our house, our bedroom, and lie down. Then, the fear that lives in my body about having the COVID-19 virus before we can get the vaccine transfers to the stability and safety of our country. A group of men and women without masks carrying metal pipes, chemical irritants, and other weapons is breaking windows and doors to enter the sacred halls of our country, where our Congress is meeting to certify the presidential election.
All the tasks ahead of me for the day have lost energy. My entire energy goes to fear. Our daughter, who has been in tears, soon calls. We share the news. We are powerless. We both decide to have some soul food while we try to re-center. Popcorn.
Will our government be overturned and taken over by people rioting? They tell reporters this is only the beginning. They will be back. I see anger and fear on their faces. We both share fear. They mirror my fear.
Preparing for the Epiphany service that night slows down my fear.
I think of our guest preacher, Amy Meaux, the dean of our Cathedral. How will she prepare a homily in a few hours and bring peace out of this great tragedy? I don’t remember what she said, but I do remember feeling the strength to meet the days to come. Spoiler alert! Little did we know that in 2024, Amy would also be elected Bishop of West Missouri on the first ballot.
I go and sit quietly in St. Mark’s for over an hour before the Epiphany Service, as I wait for the arrival of the Magi and their gifts. Slowly, I become less anxious. I sense that the prayers of the many people who have worshiped there in the past are calming my soul. I have put myself in a place where many before me have gone to meet God. Their prayers and their love begin to heal me.
Family Systems dynamics teaches us that if we can maintain a state of having the least anxiety during any conflict or be a non-anxious presence, we will help keep tensions from growing and eventually solve the difficulty. Unfortunately, I know only a few people who can remain non-anxious, for it is not a human trait.
Staying less anxious, however, is a real possibility. With Grace, we may be the least anxious presence in a situation. In that case, we can keep our arteries from tightening up, taking minutes or weeks off our lifespan, pushing us to become more fearful, maybe even violent.
We can go to the place inside or outside our body, where an inner and outer presence makes us calmer. There, we can become a vessel in the relationship or situation that can solve any problems we encounter.
This is my offering from that day.
Go literally or figuratively to a place of healing in the past, where you have met God, and perhaps where so many have done the same before. Sit, just sit, and be enveloped by a presence that goes by the name of love. We went to our church as we prepared for our traditional Epiphany service, where we felt the prayers of many years.
It may not be in a place of worship. It may be by the sea where the waves’ rhythm or the sea’s stillness slows down our anxious hearts. It may be a walk where the trees photosynthesize our energy back to love, back to a presence attributed to Julian of Norwich, where “all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”
So, we search for our sacred space, where we may find the strength to meet the day, reach out to others, and become the less anxious presence who can hold together in love the people of our family, our community, and our country.
Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/
