Thomas Merton: Mary and Elizabeth

Thomas Merton: Mary and Elizabeth 1

The Visitation of St. Elizabeth to the Virgin Mary 1503
Artist: Albertinelli, Mariotto

“Then it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person who each one is in God’s eyes. If only they could all see themselves as they really are. If only we could see each other that way all the time. There would be no more war, no more hatred, no more cruelty, no more greed.”—Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander, 140-142, Doubleday:1966.

Merton’s mystical experience captures what spiritual friends seek: seeing the light of Christ in one another. I am reminded of Mary, the mother of Jesus, visiting her even more pregnant relative, Elizabeth, in Luke 1:39-56. As Elizabeth, carrying John the Baptist, hears Mary’s greeting to her, the baby in her womb leaps for joy. Elizabeth is then filled with the Holy Spirit and greets Mary with the words: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” Mary then breaks into the song of praise and thanksgiving, which we call the Magnificat, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord.”

How wonderful when we meet our neighbor, and the creative part within us, the Christ within us, leaps for joy to perceive the Christ within our neighbor. What does this story tell us about what occurs in our lives and the lives of our neighbors when this happens? We are filled with the Holy Spirit, and our neighbor is empowered to say, sing, or live out the Magnificat.

sculpture at the Church of the Visitation in Jerusalem

Some of us are like Mary, just beginning to bear children. Many of us are like Elizabeth, beyond the child-bearing age. Some of us have never borne children, but this story of these two saints and Merton’s story still speaks to us. God is speaking to the birthing, the creative part of us, which empowers us to see the Christ in ourselves and the Christ in our neighbor.1

1 Seibert, The Living Church, May 25, 2003

Joanna        https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Resentments

Resentment

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”—Attributed to St. Augustine and many others.

I have had a lot of experience with resentments in my own life. In addition, so many people come for spiritual direction because of grievances about harm done to them by others. These resentments block us from a relationship with God as we obsess about what this person has done to us, thinking about this injustice more and more. The person or the event becomes our higher power, our God. There is no room for a relationship with God because our existence centers on the harm done to us and how to harm those who hurt us. When I can calm down and realize this person has taken over my thoughts and become my God, I slowly begin a path to forgiveness. I don’t want this person or situation to be my higher power, to take up so much space in my limited life.

 The first step is to pray daily for that person. Praying does not change the person who harmed us, but praying can change us.  

One other helpful observation. We do not have far to look to see others whose resentment for the wounding done to them has taken over their existence. Some try to hide it. Others openly live a life of resentment. It changes who they are. Anger, bitterness, and self-centeredness live there. They become victims. Wholeness is excluded. Some become almost paralyzed by resentment and cannot deal with life on life’s terms. They soon begin to resent others who do not appreciate the injury they have suffered. Addictions creep in as temporary, harmful solutions to the increasing pain that resentment brings. That person who harmed them is still hurting them. It is a miserable, isolated life, an icon of who or what we do not want to be.

Forgiveness is our only option if we want a relationship with God and a relationship with others.

I share one of my favorite books on forgiveness.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com

Nouwen: Telling Our Story this Advent

Nouwen: Telling Our Story this Advent

“Waiting patiently in expectation does not necessarily get easier as we become older… As we age, we are tempted to settle down in a routine way of living and say: ‘Well, I have seen it all.… There is nothing new under the sun.… I will just take it easy and take the days as they come.’ But in this way, our lives lose their creative tension. We no longer expect something new to happen. We become cynical or self-satisfied or simply bored.”—Henri Nouwen

I think of the regular routine of so many seniors our age. Many think they deserve to rest because they have worked hard for many years. But I am learning there are many forms of rest. We can sit and talk or watch movies with our grandchildren. Eventually, we will tell our story to them. This is one of our most significant ministries: letting those who will live on after us know the story of our family. My experience is that they may not be interested in hearing unless we do something together and let them know how much we love them.

My husband occasionally told family stories while he took our grandchildren to school. But he didn’t do it every day, or they might become bored! We can be storytellers while fishing, walking, hiking, crafting, fixing dinner, or eating together. Telling our family story gives our children and grandchildren roots that connect them to a loving God. It also helps us recount our own story, the purpose of our lives, and our origins. A good time for stories is at holidays, graduations, or birthdays, when we share past times.

Do not be disheartened if family members are not interested. Consider writing or making an oral video of your story. Often, after we die, maybe not until our family members are our age do they become interested. My experience is that the older we become, the more we look for our roots. It is a way of grounding ourselves, connecting us to the earth from which we came and to which we will return. At each telling of our story, we find even more awareness.

 As we share our story, we also become increasingly aware of how a loving God works in our lives and our family at every turn, every day. We often only comprehend this when we share our family’s history and recognize the pattern of how God and God’s love were and are with us at every turn.

Family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas meals, are excellent times to hear and tell family stories.

Spend some time this Advent sharing your story, but first, listen as someone else shares their story with you.

Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/