Kidd: Forgiveness

Kidd: Forgiveness

“People, in general, would rather die than forgive. It’s that hard.”—
 Sue Monk Kidd in The Secret Life of Bees.

nelson mandela forgave those who were his guards in prison doe 27 years

If someone has harmed us, we think about them all the time and what we would like to do to them: expose them. They live rent-free in our heads and, in essence, become our higher power, our God.

We do not want this person to be our God, our higher power. That brings us back to start the work of forgiveness. Yes, for me, it is backbreaking work. Forgiveness is not forgetting.

There are things we should never forget: the Holocaust, the Armenian genocide, slavery, abuse, 9/ 11, Hurricanes Camille, Frederic, Ivan, Katrina, this war in Ukraine, and now more than we can name.

Walter Brueggemann1 writes about forgiveness, especially from what we learn in the Old Testament. He notes that forgiveness is impossible in a system of deeds- consequences when deeds have an unbreakable, tight, predictable connection to consequences with no way out. This is the law, and if you break it, this is what will happen to you. Amen. This is the basis of much religious preaching of “hell, fire, and damnation,” trying to frighten people into a moral life.

Brueggemann believes forgiveness is only possible when we realize the astonishing readiness of God continually to reach beyond deeds and consequences to offer us unlimited restoration and extravagant forgiveness.
 There is nothing, nothing we can do for which God does not forgive us, and God calls us to do the same.

When we start to lead a life of pardoning and newness, we begin to see the world not through our grievances but through gratitude.

It is a new life, a different life. We saw it in Nelson Mandela, who forgives his guards for his 27 years of imprisonment as he walks out of prison.

He tells others who harbor resentments and grievances, “If I do not forgive them, I am still in prison.”

Buddhists call it the Great Compassion.

1Walter Brueggemann, “The Impossible Possibility of Forgiveness,” Journal of Preachers, Pentecost 2015, pp. 8-17.

Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Benedictine Life

Benedictine Life

“Listen, my child, with the ear of your heart.”—Prologue, The Rule of Benedict.

I keep returning to The Rule of Benedict. In fact, our Community of Hope Lay Chaplains recently led a class on Benedictine Spirituality in our forum during Lent at St. Mark’s.

 Listen “with the ear of your heart” is in the first line of the Prologue to this pattern for living in community written by St. Benedict of Nursia. It was composed in the sixth century during the Dark Ages and is in continued use by Benedictines fifteen centuries later. The Rule is a balanced model of life that offers a radical alternative to a culture out of control. It was written for monastic life but applies to anyone seeking a spiritually disciplined rule for living in the world. The Benedictine day is organized around regular private and communal prayer, sleep, work, recreation, hospitality, and study. 

Joan Chittister’s book, The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century, is used by the Community of Hope International. This program equips and supports lay pastoral caregivers who minister to people in all conditions. The Community of Hope International emphasizes developing skills and spiritual practices through immersing ministers in Benedictine spirituality in community. Chittister’s book can be used privately or in group discussions of the Rule. In addition, she writes a beneficial meditation and interpretation after each selected part of the Rule, which can be used in daily readings.

Memphis lawyer John McQuiston has written another concise modern interpretation of The Rule of Benedict called Always We Begin Again. It is pocket-sized and easily carried with you during the day.

 A third book I use is Spirituality for Everyday Living: An Adaptation of the Rule of St. Benedict by Brian C. Taylor. This is another offering to help those outside the monastery experience Benedict’s rule of obedience and stability in relationships with others. It promotes living in the balanced tension of the paradox of turning our lives over to a higher power while staying in relationship with others. The aim is to keep from becoming stagnant to change and grow. 

Esther de Waal focuses on this aim, even in the title of her book of reflections or meditations on Benedict’s Rule: Living with Contradiction. In her book To Pause at the Threshold, she also gives numerous Benedictine and Celtic reflections and prayers to practice when we cross a threshold from one room to another. She invites us to say a short prayer, trying to leave behind the “baggage” in our heads so we are open to a new experience. This can be especially helpful when visiting the sick or homebound as we enter their hospital room or front door.  

 There are many other books on Benedictine spirituality, but these five have made a difference in my life and the ones I give to people seeking a spiritual rule of life. So again, I would love to hear from you about the books on Benedictine spirituality that have made a difference in your life.

Joanna Seibert. https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Love

Love

“Hatred stirs up strife,

   but love covers all offenses.”—Proverbs 10:12.

langley on a mission trip

We are all banking on this being true. I think of all my offenses, the evil I have done, the harm I have done consciously or unconsciously, and the friends and family members I have hurt. I make amends for the damage I have done, but mostly, I try to make living amends.

I hope to learn to love how my granddaughter, Langley, is doing to this young child on her mission trip. I want to hold the Christ in others closely and tell them what a treasure they are. I want to see the Christ in them. This is what spiritual friends do for each other. They affirm and stand by each other.

More often now, I am paying it forward. If I could not make amends to the person I harmed, especially if they have died, I now show the love I wish I could have given them to someone else. Paying forward is showing love to someone else who has done nothing for us, especially someone we do not know who feels loveless. Still, making amends to the exact person we harmed will always, always be the most freeing.

I try, I judge, I make mistakes, I mess up, I hurt others, I make amends; I try to show the love that has been so often unconditionally given to me, and the cycle invariably starts all over again. It is a circular path. It is the human condition. Nevertheless, I try to stay connected to this circular pathway of others who know more than I know about love, and I hope to learn from them. I can so easily see Christ in them; occasionally, they can see the Christ in me, guiding me back onto the path of love.

Today, I learn most about how to love from my grandchildren. This is one more circular path: I first learned about love from my grandparents many years ago.

Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/