Spiritual Friends, Listening for God in Each Other

Gerald May: Spiritual Direction, Listening for God in Each Other

“Besides differing from psychotherapy in intent, content, and basic attitude, spiritual direction is generally surrounded by a characteristic atmosphere seldom encountered in any other interpersonal relationship. As one person put it, ‘Being in spiritual direction is like being in prayer, only there’s someone with me in it.’”—Gerald G. May in Care of Mind/Care of Spirit: A Psychiatrist Explores Spiritual Direction (HarperSanFrancisco, 1982), p.113.                

When I took down Dr. May’s book Care of Mind/Care of Spirit from my bookshelf and opened it, a bulletin from September 1990 fell out. It mentioned a book group at my church reading Care of Mind/Care of Spirit. The book had no marks, so I knew I had not read it. This happened over thirty years ago, two months before I went into recovery.

Our book group had read May’s book Addiction and Grace the previous year. For some reason, at that time, I was not ready to hear May’s words. But on this day, it was different. In 1990, we became missionary members from Saint Mark’s Church to start another Episcopal church in a growing part of our city. Alas, May’s book would have been helpful starting a new congregation as I began life in recovery, and even more so nine years later when I was studying to become a deacon. 

This has been one of the best books I have read about spiritual direction. Dr. May emphasizes how spiritual direction differs from his own highly effective psychotherapy. In therapy, the director or caregiver “hopes to encourage more efficient living in the prevailing culture, seeking to bolster an individual’s capacity to achieve a sense of autonomous mastery over self and circumstances.” Spiritual direction “seeks liberation from attachments and a self-giving surrender to the will of God.”

So, at some point, spiritual direction may stand in opposition to many cultural standards and values supported by psychotherapy. May skillfully writes about how a spiritual director constantly seeks rabbit holes or traps that the directee may encounter while simultaneously looking for God in their life. May also reminds us that the real healer is God, and that the director and directee are merely channels.

May cautions spiritual directors about how easy it is to become distorted in our roles, “playing God.” I try to keep this book as close to me as possible while doing the direction. Sometimes, I have to avoid obsessing about what May would say about something that comes up in a meeting. Then, after spending some time together, I hurriedly look up the appropriate chapter. But, of course, May would say that our job is not to worry about what we say at the moment, but to focus solely and “most soulfully” on connecting this person to God during that moment!

Joanna.   https://www.joannaseibert.com/

 

Chan West and the Art of Story Telling

Chan West, Continuing Jesus’ Ministry of Story Telling

Chan, photo by Kathleen and Bruce Wesson

“Jesus invites us into a story that is bigger than ourselves, bigger than our culture, bigger even than our imaginations, and yet we get to tell that story with the scandalous particularity of our particular moment and place in time. We are storytelling creatures because we are fashioned in the image of a storytelling God. May we never neglect that gift. May we never lose our love for telling the tale.”–Rachel Held Evans in Inspired (Nelson Books Nashville), p. 164.

Chan, photo by Wessons

Chan West died on August 1, 2021, at age 91. Every person who met her will miss her and want to share Chan stories with you. She was a faithful member of Holy Spirit Episcopal Church in Gulf Shores, Alabama. Before the 8 am service, you would meet her in the kitchen, fixing refreshments, putting out the altar flowers, setting the altar, reading the lectionary readings, or praying the prayers of the people. She was almost always barefoot before the service.

If you took time to talk to her, you heard stories of her life in the Bon Secour National Wildlife Refuge, where, as a child during World War II, she met German spies who came onshore. Or you heard about the times she encountered alligators or the turtles she saved. She was an original turtle person looking for signs of new nests to care for before the baby turtles hatched, helping them migrate back to the sea. Or you might have heard about the Christian Service Center, where she served others for many years. Or you might have been on one of her tours of the Refuge. Perhaps you were with her when she stopped a church service to rescue a dying dog that had been dropped off at the church during difficult times.

Chan listening for Turtles hatching photo by Wessons

 These are all beautiful ministries, but I think I most remember someone we always wanted to be with on our visits to Holy Spirit. She had a unique ability that made you feel comfortable in her presence. Maybe it was because she was so comfortable in herself. I don’t know what it was. Others may have a better idea. Living so close all your life to the land and loving it makes you alive and comfortable in your own skin and in touch with God’s presence, which is so revealed in the world around you. Perhaps it’s about daily recognizing the cycle of life and love, and appreciating its beauty even in challenging times.

view from Chan’s porch.. Joanna Campbell

Others describe her as a no-nonsense person. Some say her passion for life was contagious. All remember her generosity of time for the earth and all those she met. She is the person you think will never die because she is so alive. Well, of course, she has not died. She will live in the hearts of each of us until we meet her again, and undoubtedly hear more of her stories.

Encountering the Feminine Spirit

Charleston: Encountering the Feminine Spirit

Georges de La Tour

“There is no power men can devise that can overcome the strength, dignity, and courage of women. Trying to deny the rights of women is like trying to outlaw life itself. The Spirit that stands by her sisters stands eternal. The Mother that defends her daughters never sleeps.”—Steven Charleston Daily Facebook Page.

I remember when I first encountered the feminine Spirit of the God of my understanding. It was in the 1980s. I became acutely aware of the masculine slant of the words and works of the liturgy and practices of my tradition. There was no honoring of the feminine in language or church practices. So, I tried changing pronouns in the service, which worked for a while.

The altar party was made up of only men. I longed to worship with other women, maybe even—heaven forbid—around an altar. So, we started a group on Saturday mornings using our church facility to study and learn about feminine spirituality. We soon had a huge crowd. How comforting to know that others were hungry for this facet of the divine.

After a few years, as more women from different traditions joined the group, the words and practices became even too radical for me. Finally, I knew I had to decide: remain in my tradition and wait for changes, or join in practices now in territories too foreign for me.

I decided to stay with my tradition. Soon, I saw improvements there. Our Prayer Book was revised to adopt less masculine language. In addition, women were given more significant roles in the Church. As of 2019, women comprise 18.9% of active bishops and 40% of priests in my tradition.

I know and believe in the feminine Spirit of God that Bishop Charleston is talking about. It is a power that visited my mind, body, and spirit when I least expected it, and for some time, I could not understand it. At the time, I lived in the masculine world of medicine. Suddenly, I saw a unique way of looking at things, valuing relationships, working out problems by caring, relating, and listening to and respecting others. 

Why this power awakened me, I do not know. It was like a Damascus Road experience. I had no choice but to pursue it. It was like experiencing another pregnancy. Perhaps this nudge came from one of my deceased grandmothers, who lived under a masculine rule, but subtly tried to accomplish something different. I know only that my job now is to treasure the gift of the feminine spirit and to pass on, model, and encourage the gift in my children and grandchildren. I know it can change the world, just as it changed me.

Joanna.   https://www.joannaseibert.com/