Image of God

 God’s Image MLK one more time

“Within the best of us, there is some evil, and within the worst of us, there is some good. When we come to see this, we take a different attitude toward individuals. The person who hates you most has some good in him; even the nation who hates you most has some good in it; even the race that hates you most has some good in it. And when you come to the point that you look in the face of every person and see deep down within what religion calls “the image of God,” you begin to love in spite of. No matter what the person does, you see God’s image there.”

Martin Luther King Jr., “Loving Your Enemies” , sermon at Dexter Ave Baptist Church 1957

Trying to see the face in God in others can be an almost constant exercise we can do anytime, anywhere, like saying the Jesus prayer, to help us realize our connection to God. We can sit quietly for a few minutes or longer and just remember, bring to mind the faces of people who taught us unconditional love. Then we can remember the unexpected, surprise glimpses of God we saw in people we barely knew or briefly met. Finally, we can mediate on the people we had written off we thought we never would be able to see God within, people who destructively criticize us who only seem to be find faults in us, or publically humiliate us, or sabotage our work, or make clever sarcastic insults, or verbally abuse us. Subtly ever so briefly without warning they open a small attic or basement window within themselves for us to see the light of Christ within. We are following Anthony De Mello’s meditative practice of keeping a photograph album of sacred memories and bringing them back to mind.   Each of these meditative exercises can change our relationship with God, others, and ourselves. I cannot explain it, but as we see God in others, the God within them opens a window to the God within us. Sometimes that God we see within them comes into us through a huge bay window and sometimes a small decorative window over the door to our inner life. The light of God in each other in such an encounter can keep reflecting back and forth as happened in Mary’s visit to her relative, Elizabeth, when Mary finally bursts forth in the gospel of Luke with the Magnificat, “My soul declares the greatest of the Lord”…..

 “Stick with the winners” is one of AA’s quotes to lead people into recovery. The quote is also helpful in trying to see God. We can meet regularly with a person or group where it is easy to connect with the God within each other, such as spiritual friends, a 12-step group, a dream group, or a book group, or a spiritual director.

I have found one place I go every week where I find the face of God. It is at the food pantry at our church. I sit and talk to the people who come in, have a cup of coffee with them, just ask them how they are doing and let them know they are in our prayers. Almost every person tells me how blessed their life is. It is a holy place They who have so little material things are giving spiritual food to us who are in need of their faith and gratitude and their connection to God which often illuminates the whole room.

 On the other hand, whenever we sit with someone with whom we are having difficulty, hoping to stay focused if possible, we can try with all our might to see the God within them. Often this window opens through a wound they inadvertently let us see. That small basement window they share can change everything in our relationship. We also can imagine Jesus taking us by the hand and then taking the person we are having difficulty with and walking with both of us to a quiet place. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if we were kneeling together at an altar to receive communion.

 It is helpful for spiritual friends to share how practices such as these have helped them or have not been helpful.  Let me know what helps you.

Joanna

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Zoe's view

Our children Gibran

On Children Gibran

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

 Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet 1923

This may be some of the best advice about relating to our children we have read. Parents are to be the steady or “stable bow.”  Our children do not belong to us. They are the most important guests we will ever have in our home. Another piece of wisdom came to us from a counselor, Phyllis Raney, who led a parenting class at our church. She told us our job was to provide the best smorgasbord of possibilities of experiences for our children to taste from.  What they choose, however, is up to them. We are to be the best possible providers of opportunities for them to experience, but we cannot control their decision as to what they become interested in.

We have three children and had busy lives as physicians at a children’s hospital. We wondered how to give quality individual time to each of our children. My mother-in-law gave me a book, Promises to Peter, by Charlie Shedd at the birth of our second child which made all the difference in our family. We read about taking each child out to dinner one night a week. They also could choose the restaurant, within reason. So, one night a week, usually Monday, was “date night” with one of our children. It was a gift to concentrate on letting one child tell his or her story and hear how much you loved him or her without distractions. I would so much like to hear from you about some parenting plans that made a difference.   

Joanna

Rituals Gertrud Nelson

 Automated and Isolated and Ritual Gertrud Nelson

“We are pulled along, mesmerized and almost automated, going 65—over the

speed limit, but we keep up with the flow of traffic. We take in our fellow

travelers and learn what they want to teach us about themselves by noting the

make of their cars, perhaps the ornament that hangs over the dash, the identity

they announce on their vanity plates and their convictions and beliefs professed

on bumper stickers…. Despite all the efforts, I still register fear. It feels

impersonal. Streaming along here, we do indeed seem to be “a fragmented

society,” each of us isolated and sealed into our tins, each of us vaguely aware

that we want something more, something to live by and a way to live it fully and

in community, something beyond the business of mere survival.”

Gertrud Mueller Nelson, To Dance With God

This time-honored book of treasures by Gertrud Mueller Nelson is

an amazing story of how to bring ritual into our everyday life. Ritual

is the string that keeps us connected, the practice that puts us in

position to see the life God created us to live, the life of practicing

the presence of God. We learn and taste the many

spiritual disciplines and ritual that our traditions have taught us to connect to

God: daily prayer, community worship, contemplative prayer, fasting, study,

caring for others, meditation, praying with icons, and the list goes on. It is so

easy, however, in today’s world to connect back to that high-speed instant

technology multi-task mode and become like a Mack truck going down a steep

mountain trail without brakes (“breaks”). When someone asks me, “How are you doing?”,

and I respond, “In survival mode,” this is a sign for me to stop and evaluate if I am again

going over the speed limit. This as well can be a sign in

spiritual direction to know where a person’s life may be “stuck” in very heavy

and sometimes dangerous traffic that is leading nowhere. I see others and myself

looking for geographical cures, job changes, and vacations, but unless the daily

life, the daily rituals change, there is often a return to the madness.

Joanna