Thresholds and de Waal

Living on the Border

“The first step in listening, learning, and changing is to see that different is not dangerous; the second is to be happy and willing to live with uncertainty; the third is to rejoice in ambiguity and to embrace it. It all means giving up the comfort of certainty and realizing that uncertainty can actually be good.”  Esther de Waal, To Pause at the Threshold, Reflections on Living on the Border

 When de Waal wrote this book, she had returned to the home where she had grown up on the border between England and Wales.  I met this prolific writer of Benedictine and Celtic spirituality at the College of Preachers at the Washington National Cathedral. She often took up residence there and was accessible during meals to weekly pilgrims like myself seeking respite and learning at this sacred space. This small pocket-sized book is a gem to be read and re-read. De Waal is talking about how we relate to borders and boundaries as she is directly experiencing borders in her day to day living experience. Do we build walls and barriers and fortresses or do we engage in conversation and learn about something different, another culture? She describes the diversity of the world as an icon to let us know that God loves differences. She entices us to be like a porter waiting at the gate of a Benedictine monastery, standing at the “threshold of two worlds”, welcoming those who come no matter the time of day, treating each stranger as if it were Christ. This resonates with me as a deacon. Our ministry calls us to go back and forth between two worlds, the church, and the world outside of the church. De Waal also teaches us to honor the threshold or the two worlds and be open to the change, the uncertainty, the contradictions that the different worlds may present to us.

De Waal’s concept of thresholds has been helpful to me in visiting those in hospitals or the homebound. I have learned to pause as I am about the cross the threshold of the door. At hospitals, this is a time to wash my hands at the door. The threshold is a symbolic reminder that I am entering another world. The handwashing is a reminder to leave my agenda at the door. I am there to honor that person and to listen and be present to them. Some of the time I remember.

Joanna    joannaseibert.com  

Ode to the Joyful Ones

Ode to the Joyful Ones  

          “Shield your joyful ones.”
                    —from an Anglican prayer

“That they walk, even stumble, among us is reason
to praise them, or protect them—even the sound
of a lead slug dropped on a lead plate, even that, for them,
is music. Because they bring laughter’s
brief amnesia. Because they stand,
talking, taking pleasure in others,
with their hands on the shoulders of strangers
and the shoulders of each other.
Because you don’t have to tell them to walk toward the light.
Because if there are two pork chops
they will serve you the better one.
Because they will give you the crutch off their backs.
Because when there are two of them together
their shining fills the room.
Because you don’t have to tell them to walk toward the light.”

Thomas Lux from To the Left of Time. © Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016.

Phillip Mann and the Arkansas Symphony Orchestra

I know these people. I have worked with them. I live with them. I go to the symphony with them. I go to church with them. I receive a phone call from them every morning on their way to work. I serve with them.  I especially find them at one place I never suspected, at our church’s weekly Food Pantry. They are not only the joyful people who serve there, but they are the people who come once a month for food. That is why I selfishly go, not necessarily to offer light, but to receive it, especially from the African Americans who come. I sit and ask them how they are doing. “ I am blessed,” is their response. They bring each other to the Food Pantry and talk about how they are going to share the meals together. They share openly stories of how God has been working in their lives, caring for them. They have never met a stranger. They ask us how we are doing since we last met. Their voices echo laughter. They ask for prayers for other family members. They are teaching us how to live.

Joanna       joannaseibert.com

choices

 Charleston Gladness, Grateful, Acceptance, at Peace

“Be glad today for the many small graces that line the path of our lives like flowers. Be grateful for the chance once more to see those that are so dearly loved. Be at peace in heart and soul for what this day brings since all of time is in hands that will not let you fall. Be open to the surprises that may come and alert to the quiet messages whispered on the wind. Be creative in how you shape your life in these few hours for every day is a blank canvas. Be a blessing to others as the night draws near and let your evening prayers keep them safe until you awake again.” Steven Charleston

Every day we have choices. First, we can obsess over the past, what we have lost, mistakes we have made. Second, we can obsess over the future, what we will lose, especially as we age as well as mistakes we will soon make. The past and our future become our “gods, taking up rent in our heads”, consuming all our time and energy. Our mind keeps racing faster to try to find a solution. Our third choice is living moment by moment in the present. We can enjoy, treasure, give thanks for the gifts of each day, what comes to us in each present moment. This involves a great deal of awareness of our surroundings and of our relationships, enlarging our world view, getting out of ourselves. The paradox is that we should not forget the mistakes we have made but learn from them so that we may not make them again in the future. Acceptance of ourselves as works in progress, not works seeking perfection is huge. Acceptance that there is a power greater than ourselves caring for us is huger.  I daily talk with people who were upset about plans that were not going their way only to find out later that they were so thankful because “their plan” would have been destructive. I think of old boyfriends I obsessed about who ignored me as a teenager. I realize today that my life would have been a disaster with them.  I think of people who came and continue to come into my life to change its direction when I am going the wrong way. I think of people who cared for our children when we couldn’t or were not the ones they needed at the time. A constant source of anxiety with age is our health, the death of our spouse, living on a fixed income. There are so many uncertainties.

We do have a part. We can do our best to keep ourselves healthy with diet and exercise and proper medical care, but then our best choice is to wake up each morning with gratitude for the gifts of another day together.   Acceptance and Gratitude are our cornerstones, the major building blocks to peace and serenity. I am writing this so I will continue to believe it.

Joanna   joannaseibert.com