God's Presence, God's Words, Buechner

God’s Presence, God’s Words  Buechner

“IT IS OUT OF the whirlwind that Job first hears God say "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?" (Job 42:3). It is out of the absence of God that God makes himself present, and it is not just the whirlwind that stands for his absence, not just the storm and chaos of the world that knock into a cocked hat all man's attempts to find God in the world, but God is absent also from all Job's words about God, and from the words of his comforters, because they are words without knowledge that obscure the issue of God by trying to define him as present in ways and places where he is not present, to define him as moral order, as the best answer man can give to the problem of his life. God is not an answer man can give, God says. God himself does not give answers. He gives himself, and into the midst of the whirlwind of his absence gives himself.”

Frederick Buechner, originally published in Telling the Truth 

Dan, who taught me the ministry of Presence

The God of my understanding is a God of Presence. God never gives Job answers to why these awful things happen to him. My experience is if we try to go down that road to discern the reason these things happened to Job; because he had sinned, because God wanted to show him off, because God wanted to let the devil know that Job would love him no matter what, we end up in a very messy rabbit hole. God did not bring words and answers to Job, but God brought presence.  Job’s friends brought words that were not helpful. In hindsight, they could have been comforting to him with their presence alone, no words.

Presence is what we bring to those are sick and grieving and dying. There are not words to comfort them, only presence, letting them know we care about them by our presence. God never gave Job answers as to what had happened to him. Likewise, we will never know the why of why things happened to us and to others. Rabbi Kushner again reminds us in his classic, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, that we cannot find satisfactory answers. He encourages us to change where we are putting our energy, from the why to the what and how are we to live on through tragedy. We can with the knowledge that God is beside us, present with us. Presence is the promise.

Joanna   joannaseibert.com

Doubt Becca Stevens Kanuga and Connections

Doubt and Connections

“I am not more faithful than when I was twenty.

I am filled with the same doubts and fears.

It’s just that now I live

Into my faith more than my doubts

And pray to walk with a heart wide open;

To live into the hope that love is eternal,

And allow the course of the river to carry me,

Instead of trying to swim upstream.”

Becca Stevens, Letters from the Farm, A Simple Path for a Deeper Spiritual Life 2015

Becca Stevens, the Episcopal priest at Vanderbilt University’s St. Augustine Chapel, and the founder of Thistle Farm writes about distractions on the spiritual path such as doubt and the bright lights and distraction of the ego. She believes love to be the ultimate vehicle for social change and healing following a path of simplicity, humility, and forgiveness.

 "The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty," is often attributed to Anne Lamott but can be traced to William Temple, the former Archbishop of Canterbury in the 1940’s. It also is related to writings of Paul Tillich where he said, “Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is one element of faith.” Phillip Yancy has modified the quote to “the opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear.”

 Without the gift of doubt there cannot be the presence of faith. It is only when we are not quite certain and can give into the mystery of faith that we are able to trust in a power greater than ourselves.

I know I have used this phrase about doubt and faith and certainty hundreds of times in spiritual direction. I first heard it from the then dean of Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, Alan Jones, at a Spiritual Formation Summit led by Trinity Wall Street at Kanuga Conference Center the spring after the death of a dear friend, Jane Murray. Jane had made reservations for her husband, Pat, and my husband and myself at this conference in 2001 the summer before her untimely death. Jane was passionate about adult formation, and infected me with that love as well. I can still see her turning in our names almost immediately after the flyer about the conference came off the St. Margaret’s fax machine. We would not have gone if it had not been for Jane. Also at this summit at this lakeside conference center were Bishop Tutu, Phyllis Tickle, Thomas Keating, Barbara Crafton, Walter Wink, old friend from Arkansas, Stuart Hoke, and Susanne Epting, a deacon from Iowa that I already knew would write great things. It was an unbelievable conference, a gift from a friend who knew better than we that this event could change our lives to new directions. We went to honor Jane and in return learned more than imaginable. I still keep Jane’s picture by my desk as a reminder to thank her for coming into our lives. Another thank you to Jane from the conference is meeting Phyllis Tickle at her book signing and timidly asking with all the courage I could muster if she ever evaluated other author’s works. I could not believe it. On the spot she gave me her address and told me to send her my writing. This began a mentorship and friendship with Phyllis until she died in September of 2015.

So, this is one of a million ways God works in our life, through other people, living and dead, making connections that are all serendipity from South Africa to California to New York to Iowa to Tennessee to North Carolina to Arkansas.  In that spring of 2002 at Kanuga I first learned how to mentor others on their spiritual journey from a spiritual icon. I began to learn that doubt is not a fearful thing. It is certainty that we all should be beware of.  Today I remember how the love of a friend, Jane Murray, led me to waters by a lake in western North Carolina where I learned all this, and I now pass it on to you.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Awareness Charleston Sunrise Sunset

Awareness Sunrise Sunset

“God grant that the beauty of this day will not pass me by unnoticed. Even if I am preoccupied with my own worries, let me glimpse the miracle of life moving all around me. Open my heart to see the simple joy of people going about their day, the small signs of the season flowering before me, the great arc of the sky pointing toward the wonders beyond. Remind me that my life is within life, that I already live in the eternity we call creation. Let me rest easy, worries and all, in the assurance of what you have made, a life I share with you each day, and will forevermore.”

Bishop Charleston

Sunset Joanna Campbell

Sunrise sunset

We sit each early morning and evening and patiently look out from a balcony on the water’s edge at the gulf coast waiting for the daily natural marking of time to appear and disappear. We can follow the expansive horizon as far as the eye can see along the shore line in both directions. I hope to honor each day by watching the sunrise in the east and the sunset in the west. As I arise in the early dawn I look out to the shore to see the faintest of light. It is dark only illuminated by the moon in mid-sky. No being is stirring in either direction. We are alone. As early light develops the pods of pelicans file by flying back and forth a few feet above the sea to announce that something is getting ready to happen. The lone osprey flies high above the quiet sea also like a herald as he looks for morning’s first breakfast. The lonely great blue herring stands majestically at the water’s edge craning his neck as far as it will reach for the best view.  The early dawn then changes to a faint light as a streak of intense pink appears along the horizon which then becomes a lighter pink orange as it widens and fades into the now very pale higher blue sky above it. The sky then turns into a light pale blue as that small round ball peaks its head ever so slightly above the horizon. The spectacle then begins as the bright orange light of the new day majestically fills the whole sky. The west opposite horizon briefly is light pink as it also reflects the new day.  The now intense red orange brightness of the sun quickly becomes so overpowering so that we can no longer look directly at it. It is more than our eyes can take in or adjust to. The new day begins. Fishermen come out to the shoreline. Fishing boats begin to speed out to deeper waters in gulf for the catch of the day. Beachcombers, walkers, runners, then excited children walk and play along the water’s edge. This is the day God has made and we in our way rejoice.

Our day constantly changes, but for me the sunrise is a constant, a daily sign that God is always present in my life. Most often God’s brightness is like the rising sun, too great for me to comprehend. Sometimes I cannot recognize or don’t believe that God is present as in the early dawn before the light or when clouds cover the sky. These days I keep looking for signs of God’s presence, little patches of blue in the sky called “a sailor’s trousers”  as we are told by those who live by the sea. My daily experience and my tradition and scripture remind me that the seemingly invisible God is still very much there.

Then this whole spectacular changes in reverse order at night at sunset as we give thanks and review our day, make any amends for what wrongs we have done so we can turn the results of this day over to God, ask and give forgiveness, and then live in the present moment of rest as we await for God in the darkness and silence to speak again.

Joanna joannaseibert.com