Paradox of success

Living Paradox

“The great paradox of life is that those who lose their lives will gain them. This paradox becomes visible in very ordinary situations. If we cling to our friends, we may lose them, but when we are non-possessive in our relationships, we will make many friends. When fame is what we seek and desire, it often vanishes as soon as we acquire it, but when we have no need to be known, we might be remembered long after our deaths. When we want to be in the center, we easily end up on the margins, but when we are free enough to be wherever we must be, we find ourselves often in the center.”

Henri Nouwen, Henry Nouwen Society, Daily Meditation

Nouwen again lets us know a very real truth that we live and work with paradox, holding tensions. One of the best books I read during my work as a physician was John R. O’Neil’s The Paradox of Success, When Winning at Work Means Losing at Life, A Book of Renewal for Leaders.  O’Neil starts out telling us about how our excessive pride as leaders together with the seductive perks of power can become addictive with the wielding of power itself becoming more important than its goal. Power and need to control our own fate can take over, and control becomes the end rather than the means.  The paradox of success is the promise of renewal as we can step back, especially in a retreat, and see where we have gotten into trouble.   There are obstacles to stepping back such as our drive for perfection as our path becomes a prison and clocks tell us what we should be doing especially as we drive for the dead end of a substantial paycheck.  O’Neil believes that any amount of time spent away from our usual productive round of activities is renewing as long as it is time spent in pursuit of some deep learning. For me it has been walking, being or sitting in nature, music, quiet, writing, talking and connecting with friends, visiting the sick, and some daily retreat which usually involves writing. He encourages us to become healed by pursuing some situation where we do not run the show as well as concentrating on relationships rather than goals or end results. Our difficulties stem from the very traits that make us winners. We will find gold in dark places.

 He also shows a graph about success. We work hard to reach the top as we master our profession. We only stay there at the top briefly, for there is always someone else or many who will soon surpass us. O’Neil suggests that we stop to observe our situation as we approach the peak of a pursuit and consider starting all over again in a new career, beginning a new curve. That keeps us humble as we are back again on a learning curve where we are not the ones with all the answers. As we reach near the top of that career or undertaking, he again suggests we observe and consider starting all over again.  As Benedictines might put it, “always we begin again.”

Joanna          joannaseibert.com

The Spaces

The Spaces

“Long ago when I was learning to type, I used to delight in typing letters to my friends without pressing the space bar. Now when you don’ press the space bar, you’ve got a real mess, and there is much decoding to be done. It is the spaces in between that enable us to understand the message.”  Macrina Wiederkehr, The Song of the Seed, A monastic Way of Tending the Soul

I remember reading this message from Sister Wiederkehr over twenty years ago, and it still jumps off the page for me.  She reminds us that many of us keep forgetting to press the space bar in our lives. She calls it hurry sickness. We will rest after we finish this one email, or project or phone call or meeting. She is calling us to spaces of contemplation or meditation or silence at intervals in our lives. One of my favorite definitions is to stop what we are doing and attend a Quaker meeting in our head. Macrina reminds us of a Native American saying, "Listen or our tongue will keep us deaf!" I know often when I wake up in the morning, suddenly an answer or idea about a writing comes after that long time of rest during the night. I know when I stop during the day to say prayers at daily intervals, life is more beautiful. But I can so easily become the driver of a Mack truck coming down a steep hill without brakes and hurriedly drive during the day from task to task without stopping.

Our computers and iPhones are speaking to us. Have you ever noticed how much bigger the space bars are than the letters?

Joanna       joannaseibert.com

Intercessory Prayer De Mello Empty Chair

De Mello Intercessory Prayer

“It is extremely important that you become aware of Jesus and get in touch with him at the beginning of your intercessory prayer. Otherwise your intercession is in danger of becoming not prayer, but an exercise of remembering people. The danger is that your attention will be focused only on the people you are praying for and not on God.”

Anthony De Mello, Sadhana: A Way to God, p. 126.

Empty Chair

De Mello’s book has had a major impact on my spiritual practices. The awareness exercises of my surroundings, my body, my senses have been the most practical way being able to feel God’s presence. I knew of these exercises before, tried them without success, but for some reason they now have become an important spiritual practice. One more lesson to remember. Spiritual practices that are not meaningful in the past can become important later on. De Mello suggests that we not try to find the face or clothes of Jesus but feel a sense Jesus in the shadows, call him by as many names as we know.  He recommends imaging Jesus in our prayers in an empty chair beside us as his most consistent way of experiencing this presence of Christ.

These exercises for intercessory prayer can change the way we pray and talk about prayer to others as we remember Jesus as the great intercessor, imaging Jesus’ presence directly beside us, imaging those we are praying for with Jesus, and laying hands on them.

The book’s last prayers of turning desires and prayers over to God one at a time, praising God at all times for everything, good and bad also can change our prayer practice and how we live our lives.

De Mello invites is to live and prayer intimately, becoming a part of the great mystery of God’s love for us and all creation in the present moment. He believes that this precious present moment is where God meets us.

Joanna               joannaseibert.com