Active Listening

God, we've stopped talking

“What would happen if we stopped talking?

What would you do if we gave up on confession altogether?

I mean to say . . .

Would it make a scrap of difference to you, God?

We only tell you what we want you to know.

We only speak what we can bear to admit.

We do not say anything that would unmask our shame.

With respect, all the rest we expect you to know.

What would be our state if we stopped talking

How, say, if we sit in silence and quietly look to you,

while you quietly look at us?

What then, God?

How long would we have to wait for you to speak?

Would your steady gaze unravel the past?

Would your whisper guide us through the maze?

Would your Spirit settle our plight?

O God, if only you would give us one of your looks!

One glance with your care would cure it all.

One look from you would be enough.

God we've stopped talking,

we are ready to trust in your vision.”

From: Tranquil Moments. The Poetry of Prayer. Hardie, Brian. Steel Roberts Ltd: Wellington. 2002

 Read at the Episcopal General Convention 2012 byDr. Jenny Te Paa from New Zealand

What a great prayer to read just before a time of meditation when we are trying to listen to God. Active listening is an art only learned with much practice. It means making eye content, having no agenda, not waiting for the person to take a breath so you can say your piece, allowing periods of silence, imagining that the two of you are the only ones present in the world, letting the person know you have heard them by repeating back to them some of what you have heard, occasionally asking clarification questions, validating, not judging, occasionally touching their hand if appropriate, only occasionally stating your views after you have listened. This is what we learn in spiritual direction training. Can these same guidelines be used for listening to God? Some people use icons as windows to make eye contact with God. Some like to be or look outside to see God’s work in nature as making eye contact. Some use a rosary as a source of hand and eye contact. No agenda, silence, imagining that the two of you are only present, writing down, journaling, or repeating what you think you are hearing, asking clarifying statements, responding only after much listening, all can be meditative tools for listening for God.

 Atwater, Eastwood (1981). I Hear You. Prentice-Hall. p. 83. ISBN 0-13-450684-7.  

 Reed, Warren H. (1985). Positive listening: learning to hear what people are really saying. New York: F. Watts. ISBN 0-531-09583-5.

Joanna    joannaseibert.com

Parker Palmer Seeking Sanctuary

Parker Palmer: Seeking Sanctuary in Our Own Sacred Spaces

"Sanctuary is wherever I find safe space to regain my bearings, reclaim my soul, heal my wounds, and return to the world as a wounded healer. It’s not merely about finding shelter from the storm: it’s about spiritual survival. Today, seeking sanctuary is no more optional for me than church attendance was as a child." Parker Palmer, “Seeking Sanctuary in our own sacred spaces,” On Being with Krista Tippett, September 14, 2016

Red Doors St. Luke's Episcopal Church North Little Rock

Our news is full of churches, towns, cities who are providing sanctuary to undocumented immigrants who now face possible deportation, dreamers, many who have been working and living and raising families in our country for years. They sought a better life for themselves and their families and now fear losing all that is sacred to them.

Many who come to spiritual directors are also seeking a sanctuary for their sacred spaces, a spiritual life that once had been vibrant but now may seem lost. They had decided to live and follow a road less traveled, but they have come to a spiritual fork in the road or perhaps a dead end. They fear they have lost the spiritual life they once had. They are now on a path that seems undocumented. Our ministry as spiritual friends is to be a sanctuary for the soul of those who seek our trust and guidance, especially at times when they feel isolated from their God connection. It can be a lonely time. We must treat as sacred this precious part of all people, that presence of God within each of us that we can sometimes obviously see but is blind to them or others. We must never lose sight of the privilege or the awesomeness of being asked to care for the soul of another, especially at a vulnerable time.

This is a sacred trust, a rare chance to make a difference, just as our churches in years past and years to come have been a place of sanctuary. I am told that the red doors of some of our churches are an ancient sign of sanctuary within. When we meet with a spiritual friend, may we imagine that we are sitting together just within the sanctuary of red doors.

We also are called to relate to other seekers in the world who need a sanctuary at this time of their life, in prayer and in person, remembering that we all are seekers and often are on an undocumented, uncharted path. Our hope is that we will have courage to stand, sit, sleep, work, eat, and pray beside all we need sanctuary within the red doors of our churches and our minds and our hearts.

Joanna                      joannaseibert.com

Change

 Change

“We cannot change anyone else; we can change only ourselves, and then usually only when the elements that are in need of reform have become conscious through their reflection in someone else.”.

M. Esther Harding,  The “I” and the “Not-I”, A Study in the Development of Consciousness

Esther Harding was a British American Jungian analyst who is considered to be the first significant Jungian Analyst in this country. Her 1975 first book, The Way of All Women, was one of the first books I read as I first tried to connect to a feminine spirituality. President Jimmy Carter writes about getting to the place where we can give thanks for our difficulties. That is almost impossible, but I can see his reasoning a little more clearly in Esther Harding’s writings. We can see it in 12-step programs where it is so difficult to see our character defects which keep us from a connection to God. We wear them like an old bathrobe that is ugly and tattered but comfortable and a known entity. We can only see these defects so glaringly in someone else as we are repulsed by the defects in others, and finally may realize they are also in us. They are what is keeping us from our connection to God. I continually am amazed how God uses everything, everything to bring us back to God’s love. At some point, when it is right, I can share this with spiritual friends who also are suffering.

Joanna               joannaseibert.com