Charleston: I Honor You

“I honor you. I honor you for who you are and for what you have done. You did not become the person you are without effort. You have weathered many storms and seen many changes. You have kept going when others might have given up. You have lived your life like an art, creating what you did not have, dreaming what you could not see. And in so doing, you have touched many other lives. You have brought your share of goodness into the world. You have helped more than one person when they needed you. I honor you, for walking with integrity, for making hope real, for being who you have become, I honor you.”Bishop Steven Charleston Daily Facebook message

December 7th

Today is December 7th, anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. It was also the anniversary of the day I stopped smoking almost 40 years ago. That was the day of my grandfather Whaley’s funeral. He had taught me the most about unconditional love. I wanted to do something to honor him and knew he so disliked my smoking because his mother had died when he was seven years old of lung disease (Tuberculosis). My grandfather taught me about love when he was alive and saved my life when he died. My younger brother died of complications from smoking, and I could so easily have done the same.

I honored my grandfather and his mother two years ago when my husband and my daughter helped me make the trek to my great grandmother’s grave in an isolated graveyard in the Great Smoking Mountain National Park. It was not an easy adventure. We entered the Park, went over one small bridge on a dirt road, then an even smaller bridge, parked on a road with a chain across it, walked a half mile on an uneven path with roots crisscrossing it until we came to the secret, well-kept cemetery, a cathedral like open space framed by a canopy of trees.

My experience with the grief recovery group, Walking the Mourner’s Path, teaches me that honoring those you love who have died is one of the most significant ways of healing. So today I do what others have taught me.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Feast of St. Nikolas

“Almighty God, in your love you gave your servant Nicholas of Myra a perpetual name for deeds of kindness both on land and sea: Grant, we pray, that your Church may never cease to work for the happiness of children, the safety of sailors, the relief of the poor, and the help of those tossed by tempests of doubt or grief; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen” Lesser Feasts and Fasts (Church Publishing, 2006), p. 97.

If you have been reading this blog for several years, you have probably heard about St. Nikolas on this his feast day on the sixth of December. I apologize right now because you are going to hear about him now for the third time. I am powerless when it comes to St. Nikolas. He has just been a too important figure in my life. You might say that in December, I develop an addiction for St. Nikolas!

Very little is known of the life of Nicholas, bishop of Myra who lived in Asia Minor around 342. He is the patron of seafarers, sailors and more especially of children. As a bearer of gifts to children, his name was brought to America by the Dutch colonists in New York where he soon became known as Santa Claus.

The feast day of St. Nicholas has been celebrated in our family as a major holiday. We have a big family meal together. My husband dresses up as Bishop Nicholas with a beard, a miter, and crozier and long red stole and comes to visit our grandchildren after dinner. He speaks Greek to the children and the adults. Speaking Greek is my husband’s favorite pastime, and of course you know that Nikolas was Greek. Nike the Greek! Then our grandchildren go into the bedrooms and leave their shoes outside the doors and Bishop Nicholas leaves chocolate coins and presents in their shoes. I won’t bore you with our pictures of this family event, but they are stunning.

Why am I sharing with you our family story? I remember so many years on this feast day as I would sit and watch this pageant. I am still filled with tremendous gratitude, as my recovery date is close to the feast day of St. Nicholas. Each year I know that if someone had not led me to a recovery program, I would not be alive tonight. I would not have witnessed this wonderful blessing of seeing and remembering my children and grandchildren giggle with glee as they try to respond to a beautiful old man with a fake beard speaking Greek to them and secretly giving them candy in their shoes. For me it is a yearly reminder to keep working a program of recovery so I can be around for another feast day of St. Nicholas.

This is just a suggestion. Look at the calendar of saints. Find one close to a date where some great change took place in your life. Learn about that saint. Observe that saint’s day in your home, in your life. You may even consider that saint as your patron saint. This is just one more way to remember how your life has been transformed. Spend that saint’s day giving thanks for those before you who loved you before you were born with a love that only comes from the love of the God of our understanding.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Resentments

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

—Attributed to St. Augustine and many others.

I have had a lot of experience with resentments in my own life. In addition, so many people come for spiritual direction because of resentments or harms done to them by other people. These resentments block us from a relationship with God as we obsess about what this person has done to us, thinking about this injustice more and more. The person or the event becomes our higher power, our God. There cannot be a relationship with God because so much of our existence is centered on what was done to us and how we can react or even cause harm to that person. My experience is that when I can calm down and have some realization that this person has taken over my thoughts and has indeed become my God, I slowly attempt a pathway to forgiveness. I don’t want this person or situation to be my higher power, to take up so much space in my limited life.

The first step is praying daily for that person. Praying does not change the person that harmed us, but praying can change us.

One other observation can be helpful. We do not have far to look to see others whose resentments for harms done to them have taken over their existence. Some try to hide it. Some openly live a life of resentment. It changes who they are. Anger, bitterness, self-centeredness live in that body. Wholeness is excluded. Some become almost paralyzed by the resentment and cannot deal with life on life’s terms. They in turn begin to resent others who do not appreciate the harm that was done to them. Addictions creep in as temporary harmful solutions to the increasing pain that the resentment brings. That person who harmed them is still hurting them. They live a very sad, isolated life, an icon of who or what we do not want to be.

Forgiveness is our only option if we want a relationship with God and a relationship with others.

Joanna . joannaseibert.com