“Maybe, sometimes, in the midst of things going terribly wrong, something is going just right.”
—Gerald G. May, M. D., in The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth (HarperOne, 2005).
Gerald May profoundly distinguishes between clinical depression and the dark night of the soul in this book and in Care of Mind, Care of Spirit. He speaks to the need to recommend immediate help for those in clinical depression, but sees the dark night as a normal part of the spiritual journey. It is a condition to be “seen through rather than worked through,” a cloud of unknowing which often includes a subtraction of prior “knowings” rather than additional knowledge.
The dark night is usually not associated with loss of effectiveness in life or work. One’s sense of humor is generally retained. Compassion for others is enhanced after the dark night experience. There is a sense of rightness about it all. Those experiencing it are not pleading for help. The spiritual director and friends of the one in the dark night generally are not frustrated, resentful, or annoyed. May describes clinical depression as the opposite of this condition. May’s book on spiritual direction includes extensive examples of good spiritual direction, as well as reminders of pitfalls and how easily we can get off track.
When I pick up his book, I am reminded to approach this ministry of being a spiritual friend with “fear and trembling.” Over and over, May teaches us that we will be good spiritual directors and friends only as long as we stay connected to a spiritual path ourselves and realize that we are simply a vessel.
Rebecca Spooner is leading a morning retreat about the Enneagram at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church on Saturday February 29th from 9 to 1. The Cost is $15. Sign up on St. Mark’s website lovesaintmarks.org. Go to What’s on, then Events.
Joanna joannaseibert.com