The Things We Say
“A year and a half ago my son Griffin, upon turning eighteen, asked me one afternoon, “Dad, if you could go back in time and say one thing to your eighteen-year-old self, what would it be?” Immediately, my mind began swimming with the possibilities:
“Begin investing in an IRA as soon as you get your first job.”
“Experiences are invariably more enduring and valuable than things.”
“Don’t speed. The scenery is worth slowing down to see. Speeding worsens your blood pressure, and speeding tickets destroy your auto insurance premiums.”
All of these nuggets are helpful and borne of experience, but after some additional consideration I realized the one thing I wish my more worldly self could tell my budding, brash, invincible, doe-eyed, thought-I-understood-everything, fragile-and-unknowingly-on-the-precipice, eighteen-year-old self. I would tell myself, “Barkley, the things we say we cannot unsay.”
—The Very Rev Barkley Thompson, “The Things We Say,” Sermon, February 16, 2020, Christ Church Cathedral, Houston, Texas.
Barkley particularly reminds us that our God of love challenges us to bless our family, our friends, our neighbors, and even our enemies. He reminds us that the harm we do with our voice is hard to be unsaid, especially when we use words that are not blessings but a curse. Barkley reminds us the key is indeed in our breath. When we are considering something that is not a blessing, he suggests we stop and breath in, breath in God’s love and also expire or exhale the love of God into the atmosphere. It may take some time before we no longer want to spread out into the universe the unkindness we are considering. Barkley reminds us that this is a spiritual practice, a breath prayer. Done over time, we begin to think and feel differently. Each word of kindness is a part of creation of the God of love we can exhale into our world. My experience is that the stopping is the most important part. I must stop and change gears in my mind and heart and spirit. It may take many breath prayers before I am getting close to breathing out the love of God. I am not going to change the situation or person that is inducing my anger, but the breath prayer will change me.
I am wondering what knowledge, like Barkley, I would offer to my 18-year-old grandson who just voted for the first time about what I wish I had done or not done.
Joanna. Joannaseibert.com
A Lenten Retreat Holy Trinity Episcopal Church Memphis
Saturday March 14, 2020 10 to 3
Forgiveness and The Spirituality of Aging
The Rev. Joanna Seibert Deacon St. Mark’s Little Rock