Guest Writer: Mary Manning
Interpreting Anxiety with Gratitude
“If anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8).
Last night, about eight o’clock, a friend called me and after talking for a few minutes, she said you don’t have to do that, there’s God. At that moment, I realized I’d forgotten about God.
Then I knew that all the fretting, trying to control, panicking, looking for this and that to buy to protect my husband-hand sanitizer, alcohol wipes, etc. was a cover up for me. Right there at that moment on the phone, when I “remembered God” I started feeling calmer, better.
At that moment, I also thought, how could I forget about God. Why did I forget? I’ve had this experience before, being afraid someone really close to me, my babies, my daughter, were actually going to suffer greatly and die RIGHT NOW or in the near future.
Really, though, the best question for me is what can I do to remember God. I can be grateful. I can think of all the things I’m grateful for-the way our country is now fighting this Coronavirus, people coming together-doctors, nurses, scientists, grocery store and delivery workers, and others. On a more personal level, I’m thankful my adult children aren’t alone, that they are able to work and have online college classes at home, my husband can do his work alone and over the phone, and that my family members and friends are trying hard to protect themselves and others, that people everywhere are taking care of each other. None of us are alone, we have each other. This is my gratitude list for today. Each day I will think of what I’m thankful for and this will help me remember God.
The other thing I will do is believe. I will believe that God is right here in the world with me and everybody else, and if I struggle with believing, I’ll just pretend to believe. Pretending works for me, I’ve done it before. I’ll think about my prior experiences of being in fear-afraid of alcoholism, stillborn births of babies, death of loved ones, seeing loved ones struggle. Then, I’ll remember yeah, God was right there, I’ve known God’s love. I’ve seen the grace of God. In fact, I’ve lived right in the middle of it. I don’t have to be alone and afraid.
Upon opening my email this morning, there was an email from The United Thank Offering titled “Interrupting Anxiety with Gratitude” and I immediately thought oh, that’s perfect for me. In this article by The Rev. Canon Heather L. Melton, she says “Interrupting Anxiety with Gratitude” is one of her favorite quotes because it reminds us we can interrupt our anxious feelings. She goes on to say that this interruption doesn’t solve our problems, but it can calm us in our bodies. Then, once we’re calm, we can deal with what’s happening or simply see that it wasn’t as large as it was getting.
“Interrupting Anxiety with Gratitude” is now one of my favorite quotes too. Gratitude and believing, or just pretending to believe if I need to, is what I will do to remember God. This is the answer to my best question.
Many years ago, my mother gave me a Bible verse on a pink piece of paper decorated with many flowers-“If anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8).
Mary Manning