Turning It Over
“I abandon all that I think I am, all that I hope to be, all that I believe I possess. I let go of the past, I withdraw my grasping hand from the future, and in the great silence of this moment, I alertly rest my soul.”
—Howard Thurman in Deep Is the Hunger (Friends United Press, 1978).
Three Boys and a Mom
The first line of this quote, “I abandon all that I think I am,” reminds me of the exchange of rings in the liturgy of the celebration of a marriage. “N, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of God.” (The Book of Common Prayer, p. 317).
Thurman goes even further than the vow at the exchange of rings. This prayer now turns over to God all that we think we are, all that we might hope to be, all that we imagine we possess: our past, present, and future. The result, in the silence of the moment, is that we mindfully rest into our soul, united to the God within us, and find that peace that words cannot describe.
This is freedom. I am no longer in charge. Doing the next right thing, but not worrying about the results. Each of us striving to be the person God created us to be, not the person others may call us to be. Discerning and then doing what we think what God calls us uniquely to do. Hoping to find direction through spiritual practices and inner work as we live faithfully in community.
But those old tapes of trying to be perfect, no mistakes for ourselves or others, keep creeping in like shadows in the night. Living in community is what can keep these voices at bay. We share our triumphs and our mistakes with others who do the same. Finally, we realize sharing our love in community is more important than all our attempts at perfection and being right.
These are the secrets we learn much later than we wish we had discerned them. Listening. Listening to other people’s stories. Then, at the right time, telling our own story. Learning how to forgive others and to forgive ourselves. Being always grateful. Becoming a servant leader.
This is the life of surrender.
Joanna. Joannaseibert.com