Palmer: Violence
“Violence is what happens when we don’t know what else to do with our suffering.”—Parker Palmer in On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity & Getting Old (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2018), p. 48.
I am not even one quarter the way through this recent book by Parker Palmer, and have already underlined most of what I have read. I am especially moved by this quote about violence from Parker’s commencement address to the class of 2015 at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado.
We daily observe this in our lives. Violence comes from accumulated suffering that we and generations before us can no longer bear. Violence is grief that cannot find any other outlet or transformation. Maybe some have simply inherited this way to respond to suffering. Violence is grief over the loss of identity, loss of what we think may be ours, loss of loved ones, loss of land, loss of life’s work, loss of the rights that others have, loss of food and shelter, loss of love.
Grief is a powerful energy. I know it best in working with people in a grief recovery group, Walking the Mourner’s Path. Unfortunately, grief saps us of all energy. Sometimes, we become paralyzed. When we grieve, we can become violent toward others, blaming them for losing our loved ones. We can become damaging to ourselves, grow bitter, see ourselves as victims.
There is hope, enormous hope.
I have seen this tremendous energy turn into something other than violence. As we listen to the stories of others who are suffering, this impulse can be transformed into empathy and love. When suffering moves away from its own pain and reaches out to the pain of others, it can become compassion. Compassion leads to nonviolent ways to move through the suffering, especially in community.
Suffering may not be the only factor in violence, but it can help us look at violence in ourselves and the world to see what part suffering plays in these interactions. This involves looking at what must be happening in ourselves and others, showing compassion whenever violence raises its ugly head.
Our faith stories teach us that finding love and compassion out of suffering can lead to a resurrection experience.
Joanna joannaseibert.com