The Things We Say
“A year and a half ago, my son Griffin, upon turning eighteen, asked me one afternoon, ‘Dad, if you could go back in time and say one thing to your eighteen-year-old self, what would it be?’ Immediately, my mind began swimming with the possibilities:
‘Begin investing in an IRA as soon as you get your first job.’
‘Experiences are invariably more enduring and valuable than things.’
Don’t speed. The scenery is worth slowing down to see. Speeding worsens your blood pressure, and speeding tickets destroy your auto insurance premiums.’
All of these nuggets are helpful and borne of experience, but after some additional consideration, I realized the one thing I wish my more worldly self could tell my budding, brash, invincible, doe-eyed, thought-I-understood-everything, fragile-and-unknowingly-on-the-precipice, eighteen-year-old self. I would tell myself, ‘Barkley, the things we say we cannot unsay.’”—The Very Rev Barkley Thompson, “The Things We Say,” Sermon, February 16, 2020, Christ Church Cathedral, Houston, Texas.
Barkley, in particular, reminds us that our God of love challenges us to bless our family, friends, neighbors, and even our enemies. He reminds us of the harm we do with our voice, which is almost impossible to take back, primarily when we use words that are not blessings, but a curse. Barkley reminds us that the key is indeed in our breath. When we are considering something that is not a blessing, he suggests we stop and breathe in, breathe in God’s love, and also expire or exhale the love of God into the atmosphere. It may take some time before we no longer want to spread the unkindness into the universe we are considering. Barkley reminds us that this is a spiritual practice, a breath prayer. Done over time, we think and feel differently. Each word of kindness is part of God’s creation of love, which we can exhale into our world. My experience is that stopping the curse is the most critical part. I must stop and change gears in my mind, heart, and spirit. It may take many breath prayers before I am getting close to breathing out the love of God. I will not change the situation or the person who is inducing my anger, but the breath prayer will change me.
Like Barkley, I wonder what knowledge I would offer my 19-year-old grandson, who recently voted last year for the first time about what I wish I had done or not done. Mostly, I would simply tell him how much he is loved.
Joanna. Joannaseibert.com