Mortality
“On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living, that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend’s life also, in our own, to the world.”—Henry David Thoreau.
In 2018, we attended our fiftieth medical school reunion. One of the most surprising developments that I never envisioned was the substantial number of those in our class who had died. We were invincible, ready to take on whatever came at us. We had overcome almost every possible hardship, abuse, prejudice, poverty, humiliation, ridicule, and whatever else was presented to us. We knew how to work without sleep, be shamed by what we did not know in front of peers, and read and study until it seemed our eyes were coming out of our heads.
But our death was never part of our own plan. It was something that happened to those we were not able to save.
We constantly walked with death and still remember every face of those we could not keep alive because of our own ignorance or because the medical science that could save them was not yet developed. We never imagined that those with whom we worked so closely, sharing a common experience, would now not be alive. How did they die? Was it a lengthy illness? We search for their obituaries: Ken, Jim, Charles.
Of course, this has been a wake-up call about our own mortality. There is always the question of why we are still alive, and they are not. Did we take better care of ourselves, or do we have better genes? Today I simply know that most answers are out of our reach.
More and more, we have to live into mystery. We also want to thank those with whom we weathered a wilderness adventure. Somehow each of them contributed to how we developed into the person God created us to be. We send prayers of thanksgiving to them for how their lives touched ours. We also ask for their prayers until we reconnect with them and learn even more about each other.
We look forward to continuing our journey together with the God of our understanding, surrendering, trying to live one day at a time, being grateful for each day, enjoying the journey without having to know all the answers this time.
Advent is a time to remember and give thanks for old friends who shared our journey who have died.
Joanna. joannaseibert.com
