Going upstream
“We are very reasonable creatures, but to feel the grace of God, one must forget about reason and go on a pilgrimage to a place where we no longer ‘see as through a glass darkly,’ to a place where we are able to see with eyes of gratitude, rather than with eyes of conquest.”—George Grinnell in A Death on the Barrens.
I remember recently sitting by the Mississippi River near Memphis, watching barges travel slowly upstream on a late December cold, windy morning. The few dog walkers and runners along the shore move faster than the endless barges churning up white water as they move against the current. The barges are pushed by either towboats or tugboats, identified by either the flat or V-shape to their hulls. Some covered barges traveling upstream ride high on the water. They must be empty, but are still straining to travel upstream to be filled more inland on the banks of this mighty river. They do move slightly faster than the full barges. I wonder where their destination is? St. Louis? What are the filled barges carrying?
I hope to remember these barges slowly being pushed upstream against the current. I enjoy leading my life more easily, moving downstream, going with the flow, not making waves. Sometimes, however, I am called to go against the crowd and navigate upstream. It will help if I remember the journey is easier if I travel lightly, not take myself so seriously, not carry a lot of my own baggage, not be on a right or wrong conquest.
The barges teach us that the journey upstream always moves slower than journeying downstream. Moving upstream means speaking our truth against the current culture. My prayer is that the boat pushing us upstream is the Holy Spirit, not our ego. Grinnell also reminds us that a heart of gratitude can help discern and help us stay connected to the power leading us on this more difficult journey.
Joanna joannaseibert.com