Nouwen: Our Twilight Zone
“There is a twilight zone in our own hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves.”—Henri Nouwen in Bread for the Journey (HarperSanFrancisco, 1997).
It is not a coincidence that certain people come into our lives. I remember Catherine Marshall talking about praying for patience, and soon afterward, she hired the slowest housekeeper. As I walked beside them through their struggles, I learned about homosexuality from so many gay friends, especially Richard, Terry, and Joe. Likewise, I realized the depth, love, and concern for others of the Muslim faith among my radiology residents and partners, especially Sadaf and her family.
These are all people I already loved.
Today I am getting a slight hint. I also have much to learn from the “difficult” people who come into my path. Over and over, I know they are teaching me about forgiveness. I know that if I cannot forgive the harm they have brought to my life, I continue to let them hurt me. So slowly, I admit my part: my character defects, my sins, my hubris, and my self-centeredness that contributed to the troublesome situation.
As I meet with friends for spiritual direction, we often discuss what lessons God is teaching us in our contact with each person with whom our lives intersect—whether it be a joyful or painful experience. Again, this is how we gain the courage to deal with that twilight zone in ourselves and in others that Nouwen describes.
The sacred place where God heals us is in our solidarity—especially as we enlarge our community, take down fences and walls, see how alike we are, and simultaneously celebrate the diversity.
Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/