Who am I?
Guest Writer: The Rev. Chris Schaefer
“Our identity rests in God’s relentless tenderness for us revealed in Jesus Christ…We move from crisis to crisis, responding to the urgent and neglecting the essential. We still perform all the gestures and actions as human, but we resemble people carried along on the mechanical sidewalk at an airport. The fire in our belly dies. We no longer hear what Boris Pasternak called ‘the inward music’ of our belovedness.”—Brennan Manning in Abba’s Child (Navpress 2002)
Who am I? I am God’s beloved! I am loved simply being who God made me to be. That ignites a fire in my belly! I love when I am energized by the warmth of that fire. I can hear God’s voice telling me, “You are my daughter; you are my beloved.” Hearing that gives me goosebumps and just makes my heart about burst!
But there are times when that fire seems to be reduced to a flicker. My busyness keeps me from hearing Jesus Christ revealed in my life. He is there all right, but my ears are so stopped up, I cannot hear His voice. I become mechanical. Moving from one ministry to another. Filling up my calendar like I get a gold star for each time slot that I fill it in! I put so much on my plate that I begin to believe that the best way to serve God is to be a human doer instead of a human being.
The essential in my life is BEING anchored in God. My full calendar neglects that essential. It is to remember that in doing and serving God, there remains the need to take the time to be quiet enough and still enough to listen to that voice, the beautiful inward music of His Love. Remembering that hearing “the inward music” is what feeds the fire.
I hear the music of my belovedness. Sometimes the music is soft and soothing. Other times, it is a loud brass band. For me, it is essential to set aside all the doing, all the busyness, and work to hear the music with the “ear of my heart” (Rule of Benedict prologue). For my Beloved speaks to me of His belovedness for me.
He calls, He sings, He whispers – always there, I have only to BE and hear, to know that He IS there”.
Chris Schaefer
