Experiencing Holy Week: By His Wounds
“Pay attention to what happens in the next few days. Pay attention to what goes on around you and within you. Pay attention to the water on your feet and the roughness of the towel in your hand. Pay attention to the softness of the bread and the sting of the wine in your throat. Pay attention to the brusqueness of the kiss and the splinters of the cross. Pay attention to the coldness of the tomb and the terror that clutches your heart. Pay attention to the brightness of the dawning light and the life that bursts forth.”—Br. James Koester, SSJE, from “Brother, Give Us a Word,” a daily email sent to friends and followers of the Society of Saint John the Evangelist (ssje.org), a religious order for men in the Episcopal/Anglican Church.
I remember reading this quote one Holy Week when someone had painfully opened one of my childhood wounds. My “not good enough” button was pushed. As I came out of the cloud of humiliation, I read this piece about Jesus’ wounds. In some very, very small way, I had experienced a wound.
The “brightness of the dawning light” is indeed knowing that I had fully experienced Holy Week through the woundedness, sadness, humiliation, and joy that I anticipated. I remember another Holy Week when there was a complication from a medical procedure I had performed that week. I still recall the sadness I felt for the harm I caused to my patient, instead of bringing healing. I could only imagine how my patient must have felt. Finally, I realized how difficult it was to admit that we are human and make errors, accepting responsibility for our mistakes.
Today, I also experience life bursting forth as I try to reach out of myself toward someone else I know who has been wounded. Yesterday, I was painfully reminded of what it is like. Frederick Buechner talks about what a difference it makes knowing that Jesus not only is always beside us in our suffering, but also that he himself suffered.
We identify with Jesus. He identifies with us. We identify with others. He heals our wounds as we reach out to others. We are constantly called to community where we can begin to accept our humanness, our sins, and our mistakes. There we learn to be forgiven, healed, loved, and blessed.
In community, there is redemption and resurrection.
These words from Brother Koester have been difficult for the past two years since we were only able to know so many of these parts of Holy Week from past memories. This year will be different. We will again experience all of Holy Week. This week, use all your senses: touch, smell, taste, see, hear. Let them be such a part of you that this week is now more real and powerful than ever in the past.
Joanna. joannaseibert.com