Looking for the Answer
“Are you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don’t you often hope: ‘May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.’ But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied.”―Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.
I know where to find answers, seeking knowledge to solve mysteries of what is going on with my patients from my medical career. It is only natural that I carry that over to my spiritual life. I have filled bookshelves and bookshelves and bookshelves as I seek the truth of peace and connection to God. The answer seems right there on the next page. I go to the book’s last page; alas, it must be hiding, for I cannot find it. So, I eagerly purchase the author’s next book, again hoping to connect to the truth that seems so close. I go to their next workshop or conference. I find another author there, and I repeat the same cycle. I go to day retreats, silent retreats, week-long gatherings, and pilgrimages, knowing that answers will be just at that place or that time.
Nouwen says from his experience that this compulsive journey only leads to spiritual exhaustion that leads to spiritual death.
C.S. Lewis tells us we meet God in the present moment. I think this means that God’s appearance in the present moment is not in the busyness of seeking God in a new place or with a new mentor. The present moment is always right in front of us. It is in the air we breathe. It is with each person we meet in our routine daily life. It is in the tree outside our window or the birds who come to feed. God is in all these other places and people, and right in front of us wherever we are. We only have to stop our busyness long enough to say, “Hello, I love you, too, and thank you.”
But we cannot hold onto that love and peace that living in the present brings. Instead, this love needs to be shared with each breath, person, or part of nature we encounter. There it multiplies and changes not only us, but maybe the world.
Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/