Wise Selfishness

“We have to take care of ourselves without selfishly taking care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot survive. We need to do that. We should have wise selfishness rather than foolish selfishness. Foolish selfishness means you just think only of yourself, don’t care about others, bully others, exploit others. In fact, taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life. So that is what I call wise selfishness.” (the Dalai Lama).”—His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams, The Book of Joy (Avery, 2016), p. 47-48.

Recently, I met with a group of people who visit hospitals for our congregation. I asked the question, “What feeds your soul about visiting the sick and homebound? Why do you do something that will always interrupt your routine to visit someone you may not know?” Almost to a person, the answer was, “I always get more out of the visit than the person I meet with.” One person said, “However, you must not forget that you also bring love and community to someone who is very vulnerable and in need of connection.” This wise woman reminded us that visiting and saying prayers with those in need bring love and connection to both parties. Many of the visitors have experienced this as well. They have at one time or another received a pastoral visit when they were in need. They have experienced what it is like to walk in the shoes of the ones they visit.

I don’t think any of the hospital visitors would consider their ministry as selfish, but the Dalai Lama might describe it differently. He would say that feeding the soul of another that also feeds our soul is wise selfishness. An act of loving-kindness is always wise selfishness.

Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/