Death and Relationships
“We are given each other in trust. I think people are much too wonderful to be alive briefly and gone.”—Marilynne Robinson.
When I talk with spiritual friends who have experienced the death of a loved one, I remind them that the God of my understanding does not give us an amazingly loving relationship with someone else, and then abruptly takes it away. Death is not a period at the end of a sentence, but more like a comma. The relationship still goes on.
Our loved ones continue in their relationship with us, but in a way that we don’t yet understand. Sometimes we can feel their presence. We often sense the reality of their prayers. In his book, A Crazy, Holy Grace (Zondervan, 2017), Frederick Buechner has written about doing active imagination with those we love who have died. We can converse with them in the silence of our minds, but often, we merely feel their presence, supporting and loving us just as they did when they were alive.
I also remind friends that those we love are now with us at all times—beside us—again, in some form, we do not understand. When they were alive, we were present with them only when we saw them physically. They are now always with us in a closer relationship than we can explain.
I often feel the presence of my younger brother, Jim, my only sibling, who died much too prematurely in 2014, the day after Christmas. His birthday was two days ago, and I spent the day celebrating his life. I especially feel the fun, full mischief we can so easily see in his eyes.
Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/