Going upstream
“We are very reasonable creatures, but to feel the grace of God, one must forget about reason and go on a pilgrimage to a place where we no longer ‘see as through a glass darkly,’ to a place where we are able to see with eyes of gratitude, rather than with eyes of conquest.”—George Grinnell in A Death on the Barrens.
barge at Memphis on Mississippi
I remember recently sitting by the Mississippi River near Memphis, watching barges travel slowly upstream on a late December cold, windy morning. The few dog walkers and runners along the shore move faster than the endless barges churning white water as they move against the current. The barges are pushed by either towboats or tugboats, identified by either the flat or V-shape of their hulls. Some covered barges traveling upstream ride high on the water. They must be empty, but are still straining to travel upstream to be filled more inland on the banks of this mighty river. They move slightly faster than the full barges.
I wonder where their destination is. St. Louis? What are the filled barges carrying?
I hope to remember these barges slowly being pushed upstream against the current. I enjoy leading my life more easily, moving downstream, going with the flow, and not making waves.
Sometimes, however, I am called to go against the crowd and navigate upstream. It will help if I remember the journey is easier if I travel lightly, not taking myself so seriously, not carrying a lot of my own baggage, and not being on a right or wrong conquest.
The barges teach us that the journey upstream always moves slower than journeying downstream. Moving upstream means speaking our truth against the current culture. I pray that the boat pushing us upstream is the Holy Spirit, not our own ego. Grinnell also reminds us that a heart of gratitude can help discern our path and motives, and keep us connected to that greater power leading us on this more difficult journey.
Barge on Mississippi at Natchez sent by Mary Seni