Inside voice
Quiet
“For whatever reason, God never seems to shout when trying to get my attention. God always uses his ‘inside voice,’ as my mother used to call it. Shouting, calling, crying out, and throwing people off their horses is great stuff, but that’s not how I hear God. I hear God in a whisper; in a look; in a turn of the head; in a subtle expression on a face.”—Br. James Koester, Brother, Give Us a Word, Society of Saint John the Evangelist, Daily Email, SSJE.org, friends@ssje.org
The irony is that as we read from SSJE about God speaking to us in God’s inside voice, I am practicing preaching with all my might with my outside voice. My voice is soft. It is a legacy from my father, who was soft-spoken. It is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing, as I talk to people and can more easily relate to them as a softer listener. But when I stand in the pulpit to preach the word of God or speak out to a group, I have always had difficulty projecting that message, even with suitable amplification. My husband always sits in the back of any congregation or meeting, giving me signs to increase my volume. I spent years working with a fantastic speech pathologist, but I still have to push my voice. If someone has a hearing impairment, they may especially have difficulty hearing me.
My former rector took me on as a project to increase my volume. He let me read prayers outside at a burial office as an “audition” to see if I had an outside voice. After that, I think he gave up on me! Recently, I preached at a church without amplification. I felt as if I were shouting the entire time.
So, what is the point of all this regarding our relationship with God? First, I have become acutely aware of what an inside voice sounds like and the volume of my outside voice. My connection to God comes through an inside voice, quietly slipping in. But, we often hear these soft messages when we least suspect God, usually in interruptions in our daily routine.
God seems to speak most clearly in Advent in an inside voice, while the world shouts more than ever in an outside voice mode.
I wonder, however, if God also speaks to us at times with an outside voice, and we may never hear it because we expect only the quiet inside connection.
Does God’s outside voice also speak at unexpected times by the least expected people we rarely listen to or don’t even want to listen to?
For the present, my best experience with God’s outside voice is in my dreams. Eventually, my dreams become louder, more memorable, and messier if I ignore them.
Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/