Gerald May II: Our Part, God’s Part in Spiritual Direction
“In spiritual direction, one might say, ‘My prayers are for God’s will to be done in you and for your constant deepening in God. During this time that we are together, I give myself, my awareness and attention, and my hopes and heart to God for you. I surrender myself to God for your sake.’”—Gerald May in Care of Mind/Care of Spirit (HarperSanFrancisco, 1982), p. 121.
In Care of Mind/Care of Spirit, May encourages us to begin spiritual direction with a similar silent prayer—remembering that it is like being in prayer, except that we are with someone else and with God. We are to help direct the visitor or guest’s attention, moment by moment, to God while simultaneously knowing that we can do this only if we are tuned in to our own prayer life.
May advises on bringing up sexuality early in the sessions, so it is a familiar topic: “What are times you have felt closest to God? What about nature, music, sex, worship, or times of crisis?” May also makes a strong case for spiritual directors to be careful about relationships with their directees outside the direction relationship. Dr. May’s detailed chapter on referral is easily understood, primarily because he writes about many of his personal experiences. Perhaps of most significant importance to those in the healing community is May’s concept of the difference between healing in the greatest sense and curing a specific disorder.
I am grateful that I have been in a group of spiritual directors that took May’s advice and met regularly to discuss concerns and issues that arise in our work. We meet for mutual support, prayer, and questioning, knowing that we are not doing this ministry alone, but in community.
May asks us to identify in spiritual friends their experience of God beyond their belief system, emphasizing that belief and experience are two different areas to explore. We must use the language of the directees’ own spiritual experience, not our own. We should avoid solving people’s spiritual problems with statements such as, “You should pray this way” or “You need more faith.” May writes that the spiritual friend needs to know that the desire for an experience of God is already the experience of God they seek.
I hope to remember that I am a companion, at most a midwife, on a person’s heart journey with God, and that this is God’s business. God is in charge, even though I may have such beautiful ideas!
Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/