Solomon and Wells: Presence, not Words
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm, for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”—Song of Solomon 8: 6.
at race for the cure with Shaun
Samuel Wells is the vicar at St. Martins-in-the-Fields in London and a frequent writer for Christian Century. He recently titled his article “Is Love Stronger.” 1 Wells tells the story of visiting with the husband of a wife who committed suicide whom he did not know, and hearing their story, then delivering the homily at her service, suggesting that all is now well. However, when he visited the husband a week later, he was met with anger about his sermon. All had not been well with the woman, who had a painful wasting disease, and all was not well with her husband. The husband said he told Wells that before the funeral.
Wells said he learned from this experience that when being with people living with tragedy or in the aftermath of a disaster, all he has to offer is his presence beside them. There are no words to improve the situation, and attempts to clean up the situation do not affirm their difficulty. Wells believes his role is “not to make things better for someone. It’s facing the truth with them.” This is what makes love stronger than death. It is a presence, not words.
This is also true when we meet with spiritual friends. Sometimes, trying to see God in any difficult situation is simply listening to our friends’ stories and letting them know we are beside them. We are not there to improve things, but to be a loving presence beside them in a great storm. Eventually, we hope to lead them to see God’s presence in them that was present all along.
In times of great tragedy, I remember people who just came and sat beside me and cried with me and never said a word.
Often, the person who can best do this is someone who has known a similar tragedy. They have walked in our shoes and understand that the presence of the listening heart is a more powerful healer than any words.
These are also people like women running or walking in Race for the Cure, who show their loving presence with their feet instead of their mouths.
This is love stronger than death.
1 Samuel Wells, “Is love stronger?” Faith Matters, Christian Century, April 25, 2018, p. 35.
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